Monday, August 15, 2011

To the Death....

This post will make no sense without hearing the other side of the argument.  Read this breakdown of the actual event first, then come back.  Go ahead, I'll wait....

Got it?  Good.

I know, I know - you don't have to say it.  She's bat-shit crazy.  I mean, yeah yeah, she's fiery hot.  And she is typically rather open-minded and smart.  Not to mention she has a great rack.

But in this particular matter, well....she's off her damn rocker.  Even though the game took place over a week ago, the controversy continues to this day - neither party willing to back down.  It's like the Hatfield's and the McCoy's.  Coke and Pepsi.  Tom Brady and Heterosexuality.  An eternal battle between two powerful forces who will never give up the desire to vanquish one another.

It's very simple - you remember those standardized tests we took back in grade school?  They had these True/False logic questions that kind of insulted your intelligence, even when you were 10?  Well, they would go like this:

Bob is older than Sue.  Sue is older than Mark.  Therefore, Bob is older than Mark.  True or False?

The answer is:  True, obviously.

So, let's apply this logic to our scenario (V seems to have an unnatural obsession with pot-stickers, so we'll stick with that motif): 

Pot-stickers are appetizers.  Pot-Stickers are menu items.  Therefore, appetizers are menu items.

True or False?

The answer is:  V is a sore loser.

**Blogger's Note:  The bigger issue here is that V, the defeated party in said game of Scattergories (yes, even if you take away the point for 'appetizer', I still won) absolutely welched on the payment of the bet.

Yes, even on our dates there are stakes, resulting in opportunities for embarrassment and emasculation.  The loser of the game was to sing, "I'm A Little Teapot" on Skype for the other to view.  And point.  And laugh at.

Not only did she have the gall to claim she didn't know the lyrics (as if any such person exists, or at least doesn't have access to Google), she then had the audacity to REFUSE to do the teapot dance along with the song.

I know exactly what you're thinking, Dear Reader.  And you're right, she is just like Hitler.

7 comments:

*uncorked said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
*uncorked said...

First of all, you're still wrong. Trying to use my own logic against me without backing it up at all? I gave definitions.

Second of all, of course I knew the lyrics to the first part of the song, it's the second verse of the teapot song that I never even knew existed that I didn't know the words to. I would be SHOCKED if any of your 30ish readers (okay, that was a low blow, sorry babe) knew the lyrics to the second verse.

It is true, however, that I did not do the dance because you were going to record it - not just point and laugh. I told you that if the two-hand rule was put in place and I could see both of your hands that I would do it. Evidence? Not part of the deal.

You are also more than correct in one other aspect of this post ... I do have a great rack.

Lola Lakely said...

Ok, so you're wrong. You're racist and you're wrong. Appetizers is a category not an item. If you can't make it singular, it cannot exist as an item. As far as I know appetize isn't an item. But pot sticker is.

P.S. I don't know where the racist thing came from.

Laurnie said...

Well, I voted for Andrew, only because for years I've played the game with him, and there is just no winning on certain things. Although had I chose appetizers, he most certainly would have fought me to the death. Must be that whole "I am always right thing."

But I do agree, V has a good rack. And she most certainly should have paid up on the teapot bet, since regardless of the point, you won.

And I hate that welched is the past tense of my last name.

*uncorked said...

Also for the record I did sing the first verse of the song, just didn't do the dance. Besides, he still needs to pay up on a few bets of his own.

Welcome to the Clusterf*ck said...

@uncorked - I have one word for you. Shush. I didn't write this post just for you to fill up the comments section with more of your inane argument.

@Lola - oh here we go - an UNBIASED opinion. However, my dear, I do believe you can make the word 'Appetizers' singular. You remove the 'S'. The only part of your comment that I agree with is that I'm racist - I fucking hate Eskimoes. And people who use the word, "Tummy'.

@ Laurnie - Um, thanks? At least you were always competitive in Wii Tennis. Oh wait...

Little J said...

Appetizers is clearly a category. If you want an appetizer that starts with an A, then just go with artichoke dip or something, don't name an entire category of menu items. Sorry D - fail.

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