Ferris Bueller said it best...HERE.
Two things happened since my last post that - had they happened 4 years ago - would have sent me right over the fuckin' edge.
Wait, I should take you all back a bit....
...back to when I turned 30. I, of course, handled this momentous occasion with all the dignity and maturity that those who know me personally have come to expect - meaning I locked myself in my room for a full week with several bottles of Jack Daniels and a collection of classic films and half-heartedly attempted to drink myself to death.
Not like a suicide attempt - that's cowardly. More like an experiment to see whether it was possible to call out Nicolas Cage's character in Leaving Las Vegas, and make him look like a pussy. Minus, of course, the shopping cart and the exceptionally hot hooker. Although now that I think about it - that would be a far better way to spend a birthday....
It was probably the most selfish and stupid week of my entire life, despite all of the great flicks. Cause there is no doubt in my mind - my 30's have been the best decade of my life. And I'm not even halfway through yet. Imagine the possibilities.
Last week, I turned 34. My girlfriend came and co-habitated with me for a week. My two best friends (and neighbors) moved away, leaving this Man Child to fend for himself like an adult.
And you know what? My woman staying with me? It fucking ROCKED! The only hitch was that my apartment is so small that there really isn't any place for her to go when I have to use the restroom violently.
And my best friends? I couldn't be more proud to be on hand to send them off into their newly married life; because they are soul mates who could do this whole marriage, family, and responsibility thing fucking blind-folded.
So what about me (he asked selfishly)? Well, back in the day, and after I turned 30, My Melancholy Self wrote the following line, "... it is on these occasions that my mind, my body, and my spirit feel aged. And I wonder if my best, most creative, most attractive, and most exhilarating days are no longer on the horizon in front of me, but rather in the rear-view mirror, growing smaller and smaller until they slip out of my view and drift from my memory."
Nope. I was wrong! As my hero Alfredo James Pacino once said, "I'm just gettin' warmed up....."