Saturday, April 23, 2011

It's Alive! ALIVE!!!!!

Have you watched the Sci-Fi Channel lately?  Or whatever they call it these days - Syfy?  That's so stupid - it looks like it should be written in balloon letters...


Oh, looks like they're way ahead of me...

But I'm getting off topic.  Despite their total lack of ingenuity when it comes to monikers, the 'Syfy' channel is currently putting out some of the greatest entertainment available to the public.  

Check this out:


YES!  From the people who brought you Mansquito and.....

...Piranhaconda!


It's genius, pure and simple.  I have now discovered my new mission in life - to write the next great Syfy Cheese-Fest.  I'm serious, it is taking over my life.  I can't sleep.  I mean, the possibilities are endless....

PLUS


GIRRAFFACUDA!

NO WAIT!

PLUS


OXTAPUS!!!!

Oh wait....no.  These ideas are terrible.  I have it - the one movie cheesefest to rule them all.  I want it to star Dean Cain and Lisa Loeb (they always throw in some one-hit-wonder 'musician').  They are a pair of freshly divorced anthropologists who are called in to investigate a series of horrible mutilations along the southern coast of Virginia.  The guy who played Cousin Larry on Perfect Strangers will be cast as the CEO of a large  evil corporation who illegally disposed of toxic sludge off the coast of Virgina Beach.  Because of his arrogance, the beach goers will be terrorized by none other than....

......ARACHNIPOTAMUS!!!!

**Artist's Rendering

Leave me alone, I've been drinking and I used a magic marker.  This is going to be the next Tremors, you just wait and see....


6 comments:

4d0bfdbe-7025-11e0-bb79-000bcdcb2996 said...

Arachnipotomus = brilliant. You'd better copyright that stat. It's a shame you don't know any lawyers....

Also, you may have a future in scary childrens' book illustrations. Just throwing that out there. If you make a fortune from it, I want 5%.

4d0bfdbe-7025-11e0-bb79-000bcdcb2996 said...

Apparently "4d0bfdbe-7025-11e0-bb79-000bcdcb2996" is internet for "Ashley."

*uncorked said...

And here I thought "bitchgetawayfrommyvodka" was internet for "Ashley."

Scaring children comes naturally to me, we could make a fortune with my natural scariness and his drawings.

And then Ashley could put us on the news because she has anchorwoman hair! It's all coming together nicely.

Welcome to the Clusterf*ck said...

@Ashley, while I am a little put off by your immediate insistence on 5% of the profits from my artistic renaissance - I will allow it, just because your internet call-sign is cool and unintelligible.

@*uncorked - you not only scare children, they bark like a dog at you. Just like cats hiss at Damien from The Omen.

And can a brother get a pic of what "anchorwoman hair" looks like?

*uncorked said...

Ass.

I'm still angry, but I'd like to point out that my word verification word in order to leave a comment is "testes."

JUST ME said...

The SyFy channel loves their obvious titles. Just like Lifetime. The title is basically what the entire awful made-for-tv movie is about.

I'd sure like that job. Stating the obvious.

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