Making it to the couch is a monumental effort. You try the Jedi Mind Trick on the remote, but it barely moves. So you smash the 'Power' button and hope for the best. And one of two stations is on. TNT, or TBS. Ted Turner owes me so many hours of my life back, it's not even funny.
Cause a grown man watching movies about teenage gymnasts is completely normal. But hey, The Dude is in it.
Johnny 5 is alive! Plus Steve Guttenberg. ADMIT IT, you miss the son of a bitch. And his perm.
A movie about a goddamn huge crocodile. In Maine. And Betty White tells a guy to suck a dick. Back when such a thought was out-of-the-ordinary.
Flat out awful. Gene Hackman collecting a paycheck. The football footage from Point Break was better. But it makes me cheer.
Oh come on. Dalton. Greased up. Rippin' throats. 'Nuff said.
One of Jon Lithgow's most ridiculous performances. Which is really saying something. Makes you appreciate Stallone's 'subtlety'.
"Let off some steam, Bennett."
Nerdy guy hangs out with a department store mannequin who comes to life - and as it turns out, she's a slut. Only a guy could write that shit, right?
Wait let me check IMDb...oh, I stand corrected! It was two guys....
Are you kidding me? Without a doubt the best movie ever made about a talking monkey who helps a group of corporate-sponsored nitwits find lasers in Africa.
What up, V. Tell your sis I said hi.
Oh! Fun Fact: Take a closer look at the pilot of their plane into the Congo. Look familiar? I'll give ya a hint: he's a "Son of a Son of a Sailor"....
1.) And the winner is......
Where to begin?
Kevin Bacon's hair? Kevin Bacon's accent? Mr. Steven Keaton and Reba McEntire as married, gun-crazy hillbillies? That little Chinese guy from The Golden Child? And, oh yeah....gigantic, blind underground worms who eat white trash.
Make some popcorn, fool - we're stayin' in tonight.
What about you guys?